I Am Number Four (2011)
Wroiter rhymes with Goiter: Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, and Marti Noxon (now i know who to blame for the crummy "buffy" episodes) and Pittacus Lore who is apparently two people and wrote the thrilling (i'm sure) novel, and who also deserve to be eaten by manbearpig for choosing possibly the lamest pen name available in imagination land.
Director: D.J Tanner- i mean, Caruso
Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Dianna Agron, Tim Olyphant, and Callan McAuliffe
an alien teenager boy hotstuff with special alien powers is fourth on a hitlist of another alien race's hitlist. how does he know he's the fourth? i don't know. apparently there are only NIEN, i mean nine left of his peaceful alien race. these nine were made to have super powers to protect the rest of their planet from the evil forces of the morg (?). they have pointy teeth and gills and are not the curly blonde looker ones just on case you didn't get that they are the bad aliens. in fact, while i was watching this, an argument was forming in my brain to compare this to a pervasive aryan agenda film, but i don't really have the energy to form a complete document. edits have been made to this synopsis to further my point.
this was number two. i can't be the only person to have jumped on that joke. not that i had high expectations here or anything. i put this on the queue for that fill of bad teenage movies. in that respect it was only a slight let down with the lack of content. bubblegum that loses it's flavor after 30 seconds. i hate movies that are just complete setup for sequels. it drives me nuts. you can have setup and still have a strong enough movie to stand on it's own. then when they don't do well (like apparently this one) there are no sequels made and we are just left with a steaming pile of intention. i gave this the dispassionate two stars of :"didn't like it" which translates into "did i see that?"