Queue Total

284 MOVIES (released titles only)

Note: Real spoilers are in black text on a black background. Highlight the black areas to read the spoilers.

Queue Numbers

#50- Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

#100- Black Swan

#200- Mysteries of Lisbon

Last- Once Upon a Time in Anatolia

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Cameraman: The Life and Work of Jack Cardiff

Cameraman: The Life and Work of Jack Cardiff (2010)
Director: Craig McCall

like the title says. a documentary on the expansive career of jack cardiff who was britain's first technicolor cameraman and filmed, among many, "the red shoes" and "rambo: firstblood part 2"

 The Woman
i've been a wicked slacker, so we watched this something like three weeks ago. i was not that impressed, however. that made a lasting mark. this guy was pretty super awesome, but the documentary itself got kind of boring. there was nothing said about his personal life, it was just all of his professional life. he was in the business from the time he was a teenager until his 90's (?) and maybe there was no talk about his personal life because he devoted all his time to his career. i just don't know because it wasn't discussed at all. if it's a biographical thing, these are facts i would like to know as a member of the audience. eh. disappointed. i had expectations for this one.

it was neat to hear him talk about the stuff he improvised on, though, to get effects. stuff he thought up on the fly, and the techniques he used with the newfangled technology camera's back then. i.e. just breathing on the lens to create a fog effect.

This is one of those documentaries which doesn't keep up with the subject matter.  It started out really strongly--I was actually at the edge of my seat for the first 20 minutes, waiting to go into the kitchen--but it became too repetitive.  There were many interesting things but they were separated by too much fluff.  It didn't talk about the dude's personal life at all.  It was more like a reenactment of his IMDB page, bu only the filmography tab.

It did give me some good queue-add ideas, and for my woman's sake I'll have to keep myself under some level of control with the IMDBing and the Netflixing.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Jack Brooks, Monster Slayer

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)

Writer:Jon Knautz, John Ainslie
Director:Jon Knautz
Starring: some people

i honestly don't really remember. this happened weeks ago. some guy who is taking night classes slays his professor after his professor turns into a monster after he finds some sort of demony black heart in his back yard. low budget. low quality. CANADIAN. no gore. barely any violence.

Even if it hadn't been three fucking weeks since we watched this movie I wouldn't want to waste my time eviscerating it.  It didn't offend me, because I don't think it had very much intent to do anything at all to the emotion of the viewer.  To attribute something like intent to someone who could put this shit together is unfair to first-degree murderers and war criminals.

This isn't even a movie where I could say "It's 80-odd minutes long and only the last 20 have action," with a straight face. Because while that's true it implies that there's something on those last 20 minutes worth a meager fraction of your existence; and that is CERTAINLY not the case.

The Woman
this was reeeeeaaaaallllly lame. when you have low budget like this you have to go really campy or it just doesn't work. it has to be like "bad taste" or some troma movie to contain any entertainment value. this wasn't even "the skeptic" bad. it was just lame bad. i left the room for most of it because i got so bored. he doesn't even become a monster slayer until the last 2 minutes of the movie. lame. lame. lame. and i would like to add...i put this on the queue. my bad.

I Love You, Phillip Morris

I Love You, Philip Morris (2009)

Writer: John Requa & Glenn Ficarra (screenplay), Steve McVicker (novel)
Director: John Requa & Glenn Ficarra
Starring: Jim Carey, Ewan McGregor

External forces push semi con-man dude out of the closet, where he must become full-on con-man in order to pay for his lifestyle.  He continues to get caught and go to prison and escape from prison.  During one of his stints in prison he meets a man who may be the love of his life.  But he just can't stop conning.

The Woman
enjoyed.  moster thought it was too jim carey schtick, but i couldn't disagree more. i didn't see any fire marshal bill in there. it's crazy that this is a true story. people can be incredibly resourceful. sometimes i feel like when you're that smart, or slick, or whatever you want to call it, you should get some slack, but i guess this guy did rip people off. the wrong kind of people. rich powerful people. this, like another post of an unmentionable movie, was watched ages ago so i really don't remember enough of my initial reaction to make a long post. i would recommend this to anyone...unless you're a homophobe and in that case, then you could go fuck yourself.

Yes, I did think it was too Jim Carey Schtick.   I'm probably partially Jevon-prejudiced against Carey, but he played very much in the vicinity of over the top.  Just look at his fucking smirk in that poster.  It annoys me when straight actors play gay and go that far, because I'm gaydjacent myself.  But if he just looked across the fucking prison bunk at Ewan McGregor he'd see how to rein things in just a little.

I was certainly entertained by the character and his shenanigans (at least most of the time).  His shenanigans were super-ballsy and pretty funny, and you didn't always know where things were going.  That last piece is as much due to the work behind the camera as in front of it.  Tension and mystery (such as it is) flow well through the character's eyes and around him into ours.  Production was pretty darned slick for something which must have blown most of its budget on Ace Ventura.  They also drew a pretty good line around how to show the sex while not showing the sex.

And here's the best part of the movie: The details of the ending (well, the denouement) were not written in small letters under the studio logo.

Friday, September 9, 2011


Wrecked (2011)

Writer: Christopher Dodd
Director: Michael Greenspan
Starring: Adrien Brody

a guy wakes up with memory loss, trapped in a wreckage of an automobile, in the woods, at the bottom of a cliffish bank.

The Woman
booooooring. bleh. forgettable. the whole movie is adrien brody dragging himself around the deep forest, guided by the vision of a dog, and stalked by a mountain lion. he goes around in this big circle for who knows how long, ends up back by the car and then climbs the bank to the road like he should have done in the first place. meanwhile, we're supposed to be interested in finding out who he is and how he ended up where he was, presented in flashes of memories spread out during his dragging. i didn't care. i was slightly more interested in whether he was going to get out or not to make the movie a little more interesting and how he was going to re-enter society once he did. but, of course, once he remembered everything the movie ended. there was this particular bit which i think, was supposed to be a twist, or an ah-ha moment, but i was so indifferent by that point it came out like a sigh and an oh, that's kind of a cop out moment.

this had similar elements to "buried" which i had watched the day before and really liked, that i think made this movie seem more lame and wishy washy. the single actor by himself trying to figure shit out was done so much better in "buried". and that had a lot more balls in it's ending.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Buried (2010)

Writer: Chris Sparling
Director: Rodrigo Cortes
Starring: Ryan Reynolds

a contractor truck driver in iraq wakes up buried in a wooden coffin in the desert with a few supplies and a cell phone.

The Woman 
really good. it had me on  the edge of the couch through the whole movie. i was trying to knit lace and i only got a few rows in, where usually i get about 20 while watching movies with this particular knitting project. disturbing and upsetting. yay. a movie that got underneath my skin. it's been awhile. this would have been even better if i was watching it in the dark. if you watch it, watch it in the dark. it's not scary or anything. this is no horror movie. it'll just add to the effect of the movie. there are a lot of shots of just black and breathing. all of it is in low light. when i saw the trailer i, of course, thought of "the vanishing", but it's not like that at all. i don't want to say too much about it because if you haven't seen it, and you want to i don't want to ruin it. it's a shame it didn't make any money, i guess because it's mostly original and deals with current serious issues? fuck 'em. i liked it. i even gave it four stars on netflix, which is rare in the orienter household. i may even push moster to watch it.

Dinner for Schmucks

Dinner for Schmucks (2010)

Writer: David Guion & Michael Handelman (screenplay), Francis Veber (original movie "le diner de cons")
Director: Jay Roache
Starring:Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, Jemaine Clement, Zach Galifianakis,

to get a promotion a guy has to bring an idiot to a dinner so everybody can make fun of the idiot. in walks steve carell. hijinks ensue. deep down heart of gold. happily ever after.

The Woman
i wanted this to be funny, and it was. slightly. i don't think i laughed out loud, but i smiled a couple times. it just seemed really predictable and done. meh. maybe i've been with moster too long. the ennui that seethes through his system has also infected mine? are my standards too high? what was the last movie i found funny? i think it was "the other guys". that was a funny movie....

i liked the taxidermied mice in their intricate dioramas. i enjoyed the tower of dreams monologue/ presentation. i think that's the most positive thing i can say. oh, and i still like steve carell. he keeps doing me wrong, but i keep going back for more. why is that? because i really liked "dan in real life" i guess.