Queue Total

284 MOVIES (released titles only)

Note: Real spoilers are in black text on a black background. Highlight the black areas to read the spoilers.

Queue Numbers

#50- Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

#100- Black Swan

#200- Mysteries of Lisbon

Last- Once Upon a Time in Anatolia

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Green Lantern

Green Lantern (2011)

Writer: a ton of people. there are 7 listed on imdb. you can look them up if you want
Director: Martin Campbell
Starring: Ryan Reynolds (who will always be billy from nickelodeon's "15" to me), Blake Lively

a test pilot guy is chosen by the ring of a dying alien guy of the green lantern corps. he gets super powers. this super bad alien guy known as parallax with the super power of "fear" sucks the fear out of everyone he comes across in the universe on his way to earth to destroy the ring of the guy (dead alien) who originally imprisoned him.

the Woman
ho-ho-HO!!!!! wowzers. i should start by saying i'm not a DC person. with the exception of batman anyway. the only things i know about the green lantern are from the couple of episodes his origin story was featured in the tim daly superman cartoon. i also haven't finished watching it yet. the kid woke up at the hour and a half mark. my impression so far is pretty laughable. this thing oozes of 11 year old boy. if i were an 11 year old boy i would probably love this movie. explosions, special effects, super hero...yeah. but speaking as a 33 year old chick who used to be into comics and still dons the dork factor now and then, i have laughed a lot about the whole thing. the concept is too hokey for me to get past. the explosions and special effects do not distract me from the "let's fight fear with fear" as in fear as a tangible power....fought by "will" which must be a stronger force...obviously. it's also conveniently color coded for those of you not paying attention. for those of you who love graphs and charts...color coded ones. i have to find the speech where i had to tamp down the howls of laughter for fear that i was on borrowed time from nap anyway. one moment please...

Hal Jordan: This new weapon of yours, you can't use it. Once you've crossed that line, once you've given into fear, you'll never go back. I've seen it. Look, I know right now you're afraid.
Guardian #1: You dare accuse the Guardians of feeling fear?
Hal Jordan: Yes, I do. And that's exactly why Parallax is beating you. Because you're afraid to even admit you're afraid! I know. I spent my entire life doing it. You know, we have a saying on earth, we say; I'm only human. We say it because we're vulnerable. We say it because we know we're afraid. But it doesn't mean we're weak. Help me save my planet. Don't give in to fear. Fight it! Fight it with me!

hahahahahahahahahaha. this is the kind of shit you should only read on a page with some art and envision in your mind. when it comes to life on screen it's just too over the top. stay tuned for my second installment....

soooo. the only thing that can beat fear is...the sun? ok. i maintain my wowzers. this dude can use anything he imagines and he imagines catapults, and giant springs, and howitzers or whatever? lame. instead of the power of "will" he should use the power of "imagination". the graphics in the space sequence in the final battle made me cackle. CACKLE! i'm totally showing that part to moster. the bad guys in this were really kind of a let down too. victory was won so easily, and yet the over 7200 members from the 3600 sectors of the green lantern corps could not even think of defeating this guy? by the way this specificity of these numbers made me laugh too. this was so amazingly bad, i hope there's another! it makes me smile to even think of the possibility of a sequel. i could tell just from the way of this thing that i should sit through the credits. i knew there would be a little snippet of more to come. good job me. you mean sinestro becomes sinister? NO WAY!!!!

The Ministers

The Ministers (2009)
"Written" and "Directed" by Franc. Reyes
Starring John Leguizamo, Harvey Keitel, and ehat's her face from one life to live. thea?(sp?)

UHHHH. this dude who is a policeman gets gunned down in front of his young daughter who grows up to become a policeman with her dad's old partner. the dude's killers have not been caught. enter john leguizamo and his twin brother exacting revenge on behalf of god. good twin leguizamo starts courting daughter of brain matter policeman who he, apparently, has been obsessed with this whole time. it's okay, folks. he's the good twin. bad twin is loosing his grip on reality. you can tell him apart from good twin because he has burns on his face. more things with stupid details. showdown. curtain falls.

I really just want to write a thousand words about Harvey Keitel's apparent gambling problem.  Instead, we'll do it like this:  Mr. White, The Lieutenant, Winston Wolf, Ray Donlan, Joseph Bruno. We laughed at this movie.  Frequently.

The Woman
jeebus, was this a pile of crap! i didn't know a movie of this caliber could be made. seriously poor. the plot was stupid and stupidly complicated with details you didn't need to know or care about. the lead was a detective who freaked out about everything. we're talking major meltdown...about everything. they all kept referring to her as a "rookie" too which annoyed the shit out of the husband and i because she was a DETECTIVE! a promotion to us in the real world. this whole experience just reeked of amateur movie making. i don't know why keitel and leguizamo agreed to be in this nonsense. it was a sigh of relief when it was over.

Never Let Me Go

Never Let Me Go (2010)

Writer: Alex Garland (screenplay) Kazuo Ishiguro (novel)
Director: Mark Romanek
Starring: Carey Mulligan, Keira Knightley, Andrew Garfield

the story of three clones who were made just to supply major organs for patients in need of transplants. young love triangle. young adult triangle. moving forward. surgeries. death.

The Woman
truly shme. i kept waiting for something to happen and it never did. i kept waiting for the characters to do something about their lot. they never do. kind of boring. wasteful is major theme coming away from this one. their lives and my time. it was directed and acted well. the little girl who played carey mulligan as a child was a perfect cast. i will say during the end credits i noticed it was based on a book by a japanese guy and it made so much more sense in my head that way. THAT was the ah-ha! moment.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Friends with Benefits

Friends with Benefits (2011)

Writer: Keith Merryman, David A. Newman, Will Gluck
Director: Will Gluck
Starring: Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis

a head hunter in new york gets a guy from L.A. a prominent job at GQ. they hit it off and become fast friends. they start having sex. they have a good time with each other. they stop having sex. things begin to get complicated.

The Woman
i want to start this off by saying when i watched this movie i thought it was a completely different movie. i thought it was the one with ashton kutcher and, what's her face, natalie portman. i had just heard how terrible that one was from my very best friend and i was curious to see the train wreck for myself. it also took me a solid five minutes to figure out it wasn't that movie. i kept thinking- justin timberlake is in this?

a long time through this movie i was rolling my eyes. there were some funny bits. but i feel like they were overshadowed by the hip factor. the hipness totally threw me off. i spent most of this experience thinking am i too old for this? (i'm 33, people) it was just these one liners that were thrown in. ususally about the tube technology we, as a society, usually talk about. i.e. phone contracts and the stupid ineffectiveness of touch screens and directional tippy thing feature. it just felt forced and unatural for some reason. which leads me into justin timberlake as an actor. at the witty remarks and funny stuff he did good, but the more "serious" supportive things he was TERRIBLE! like cable access terrible. like pop star transitioning into actor terrible...wait. what?

there was also this NYC spirit fest pep rally thing that turned me off too. we get it. new york is pretty great. for some. i'm glad that it's just around the corner from me, but jesus, we don't have to jizz all over it. i get it, mila kunis's character. you love the city. it's the best place in the world.  the location porn was out of control. i am not in a coma. i do not have short term memory loss. i never forgot, once, that they were in new york city, even with a brief stint in L.A.

final thought: for a rom/com this wasn't that bad. the humor was funnier than most and i appreciated the frank discussions about sex. i enjoyed the mocking of the rom/com throughout the movie. that being said, this did not break the rom/com formula at all. soooo don't get too high on yourselves, whoever is responsible for this movie. there was no box left broken. all 6 walls remain intact in your endeavor. also, i wouldn't watch this again.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Dead Man

Dead Man (1995)
Starring Johnny Depp, Gary Farmer
Music by  Niel Young (for fifteen minutes in Tom Waits's living room one day)
Cameos by everyone who's ever come out of a wazoo

Accountant gets a job and goes from Cleveland to the west coast.  In the intervening time the position is filled because the employer is a scumbag.  Hijinks of a sort cause him to become a wanted man and he either runs away from numerous hit men or runs towards a more worldly personality.

I watched this movie in a few chunks; and that didn't impact how I think about it.  I spent more time than average in thinking about this movie, though; and I want to say that it would play really well as a satire because "satire" would explain the grating music (three chunky electric guitar chords, underscoring themes which needed no further emphasis), the over-the-top direction (set up, muggy reaction shot, rinse, repeat), and the bizarrely annoying editing (fade to black, fade up, small amount of action, fade to black).  But it wouldn't explain how there's actual emotional investment in the characters.

It's not a satire, though.  It's a serious film.  The story is strong and it has a lot of value.  The performances fit the story quite well.  This is the kind of movie that drove Johnny Depp through the 90s and into the more interesting roles he takes when he's not blinded by the gold bars that Disney throws at him these days.  Gary Farmer, as the Injun, kind of steals the whole deal, and there is a full assload of cameos in this movie, from William Hurt through Alfred Molina, with a lot of lingering on Iggy Pop.  There are no missteps in the characterizations.

It all comes down to the hammer, though, and that's always been my problem with Jarmusch (It is, in fact, why Leila was excused from watching this).  He needs to dial it back, just a little, from 12 down to 7 or 8.  The first ten minutes of this movie are Johnny Depp reacting to oddballs in the train as it progresses west.  We get it.  He's out of his element. We also get it as he becomes more accustomed to what he has to do to survive as the story moves along, under the same fucking chords.  And we would have gotten the ending if it had gone to credits 30 seconds earlier.  Such a simple choice as that would have shown the whole thing in a different light, possibly letting the beauty of the story be the final message rather than the hammer of the director.

Look:  I like Jarmusch in small doses.  I even like spikes of Jarmusch along a line which rides nearer to the top.  But it can't be at the ceiling the whole time because that gives you a headache.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Every Day

Every Day (2010)

Writer: Richard Levine
Director: Richard Levine
Starring: Liev Schreiber, Helen Hunt, Ezra Miller, appearances by Eddie Izzard, and Brian Dennehy , and oh yeah, Carla Gugino

some dude hates his job, his wife is overwhelmed by her elderly cranky, depressed, sick father moving in, his teenage son is gay, and life is not fulfilling for him at the present. he debates fucking a coworker.

The Woman
meh. everyday meh. i probably put this on the queue because of the existence of eddie izzard and liev schreiber. i say again....meh. i'm kind of sad i had to do all that data entry about the writer and director and starring and synopsis for this movie.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Good Hair

Good Hair 
Written by Chris Rock, Lance Crouthier (

), Paul Marchand
Directed by Jeff Stilson

A doc about the hair of the black Americans.

The Woman
this made me sad. as a white chick, i know not the plight of african american women, but i say embrace yourselves, ladies. don't let the white man dictate what beauty is to you. i think your natural hair is beautiful, and i like to think i wouldn't put myself through the nonsense of relaxers and the upkeep of weaves...mostly because i have a low pain threshold, and am a cheapskate...but nonetheless! i think nappy is pretty.

This is a good documentary.  I like how it used the hair show as a framing device, coming back to it to move things forward but spending as much time as needed in barber shops all over the place.  The interviews were executed well.  They asked good questions, and they presented multiple view points.  I don't have too much more to say about it.  It's worth watching.  It might make you feel guilty as a white person (if you're white) but I think there are more layers and enough years to mitigate some of that.

Oh, and sorry, but as soon as I saw Lance Crouthier I thought, "Pootie!"  and when I came upon that photo while validating my suspicion I had to share it with you.  I'm sitting here in front of the computer while everyone is asleep and I had to stifle 30 seconds of laughter.

A Serious Man

A Serious Man (2009)

Writer: Joel & Ethan Coen
Director: Joel & Ethan Coen
Starring: Michael Stuhlbarg

A Jewish dude in the Cold War tires to take his life seriously and is stymied at every turn.

The Woman
shiksa, shiksa, shiksa! this movie flew over my W.A.S.P. head! i saw it go over as a tiny spec in the sky. Moster says i was thinking too hard, but i disagree. this movie was obviously entrenched with jewish mythos of which i have no knowledge of. and as i said in the discussions that have occurred since, every single detail in a coen brother's movie is deliberate and meticulously thought out. that much i could see. i just didn't get it. it was almost like watching a foreign movie without the subtitles. you get the gist of it, you just don't comprehend on any other level.

I think that my estimable woman tried to look at this movie through her exposure to the Founders of Circumcision; and I think that that was her undoing.  It is like watching a movie in another language because it requires the additional investment of looking at contextual clues, suspending your own system, and putting yourself into the one the characters inhabit.  But I digress; and I've broken the rules: I'm not supposed to read her review before I write mine.

This is the most bleak Cohen comedy to date, by a wide margin, and I loved it.  The story here is really funny.  A lot of the shit Larry goes through is amplified experiences that many people encounter:  An asshole of a wife, teenage kids, people at work screwing with you for minor advancement, people taking advantage of you because you try to be a nice person and live according to an ethos, being confused by the nature of the universe and having those who are ostensibly there to help you understand things just make them worse.  The describers of the universe, the origin of that ethos, is secondary.  Larry attempts to plod through, only to be hit in the face with a plank at every turn.  Once in a while, someone drives another nail into that plank and it's inevitable that one of them will enter his temple and end blind him with blood.  All of the characters, down to his handful-of-lines daughter are drawn very well.  Every voice that whines its way into Larry's brain is unique.  All of them are acted very well or better.

And it's a Cohen movie, so we're watching it through their truly effortless style.  I have difficulty analyzing styles such as this (when they're done well) because the effort that went into them is substantially transparent.  It's like we're Steve Zissou, watching beautiful creatures swim operatically thousands of feet below the sea, through a meter of perfectly clear glass.

Kevin Smith: Sold Out- A Threevening with Kevin Smith

Kevin Smith: Sold Out- A Threevening with Kevin Smith (2008? really?)

Synopsis?  Kevin Smith talks to/at thousands of admirers in large auditoriums.

The Woman
have you seen an evening with kevin smith? or whatever the second one is called? same thing. i enjoyed it. i like to think fondly of his supposed honesty and wit. i like hearing those little stories that go on for 40 minutes in response to one question. it's his style and i can dig.

This particular piece is a significant contributor to my recent reviewing procrastination.  I still haven't decided exactly how I'm going to write what I want to say here, so we'll see how it goes.
I think I'm over Kevin Smith.  It pains me to say that--and I'm NOT saying that I will avoid his future works--as a prophet he's gradually waned in my esteem as I've aged and matured.  I was first exposed to him with Clerks, as so many of my generation were, and I really felt that he spoke to me.  I thought he was raucously funny and made salient points that, even though I was a little younger than the characters in the movie, I found to be applicable to me.  In some ways, as shitty as those lives were, I almost hoped that one day they would be applicable to me.

Where this really hit me in the gut was Chasing Amy.  I remember the experience of watching this movie quite clearly.  I remember being glued to my seat despite being full of TWO large movie theater sodas.  I could not escape his message and how he delivered it.  I recently heard some criticism of him relating to this film and I felt that the reviewer really didn't understand his message, that love is not about the body.  That's a great message and it was framed in a way that eloquently validated my own opinions.  And while I don't agree with Dogma--I discussed this recently--I still found it to be funny and well built as a story.

Fast forward now to the "Evening" series.  This review is about the "Threevening," but we also recently watched "Too Fat to Fly," so I'm covering that here as well.  The thing that really hit me about "Threevening," finally, after having watched three other 2-4 hour exercises, is that his schtick is EXACTLY THE SAME.  For as long as I've been exposed to him, it doesn't seem that he's grown up at all.  His attitudes haven't changed; his demeanor hasn't changed; his friends haven't changed.  It's cool when you're 18 or 19 to talk about naming your kid after a comic book character, just like it's funny to talk about naming your kid about subatomic particles or Star Trek characters; but is it actually mature to do so?  Is it something one does when one's 30?  Is it a burden with which a mature adult would actually want to saddle their child?

The other thing that struck me as I was watching the most recent one is that at least some of his stories are not true, beyond the part of hyperbole.  It came to me during one of his stories about weed.  He vacillates widely in his various pieces going from "I NEVER smoke in real life" to "I have weed around the house sometimes" to "I've smoked more times than anyone can count."  That was one example, but it was enough to give me pause. If you look at some of the other stories in that light they make a lot more sense as fabrications to sound cool in front of a pile of college kids (still his core audience) rather than heartfelt personal anecdotes.

(I tried, as I was writing that, to convince myself that this is merely a character he plays on stage and that he's an adult person in his personal life; but one thing that he says which I DO believe is that there's a reason Silent Bob is Silent:  Dude can't act.)

These are just examples of his overall attitude, and likely the most extreme ones.  But they're there,  and I can no longer ignore them.  Goodbye, Mr. Smith.  You've served me well.  Shut up and go make a movie.  Maybe if you get out of your own way it'll be good.

Death Race 2000

Death Race 2000

Written By Robert Thom, Charles B. Griffith, Ib Melchor (short story)
Directed By Paul Bartel
Starring David Carradine, Simone Griffeth, Sylvester Stallone

In an odd future, there's an annual race across the US.  There are navigators, drivers, and shenanigans.  You get points for killing bystanders and old people. 

The Woman
i rolled my eyes when moster put this on, but it won me over pretty quickly. there was lots to appreciate in his. i don't understand why they would remake this. the new one took all the campy 70s cultness to it and made it big budget explosions and lameness. stupid statham. i hate that guy. who knew you could go so wrong with 90% of the same script?

This was a pretty good time.  It was pulpy and campy and ridiculous in all the right places.  There are no technical awards to give out here, except possibly for makeup and prosthetics, but who cares?  Within the universe where nothing made sense relative to the real world, everything in this move made sense.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Eagle

The Eagle (2011)

Writer: Jeremy Brock (screenplay) Rosemary Sutcliff (novel)
Director: Kevin Macdonald
Starring: Channing Tatum, Jaimie Bell

a young centurion, wounded in battle against those crazy savage anglos, seeks to redeem his family's good name and retrieve a golden eagle (that apparently represents rome?) from the north crazy savage brits. he takes his slave guy with him. slave guy is honest and true and proves his worth over, and over again... but then turns the tables on rome guy...maybe.

The Woman
this was totally a buddy cop movie except instead of murtaugh, there is a centurion, and instead of riggs, there's a perhaps untrustable native englander. i think there was even a freeze frame ending. i will say i'm glad they didn't make channing tatum attempt any sort of an accent. i think that, although funny, would have ruined an already shaky shme movie. i also let the historically correct thing slide a little, because, let's face it, it's a channing tatum movie. i don't like that channing guy. i don't know why. he just bothers me. maybe it's his really shitty choice of making things like g.i. joe, or step up, or step up 2...the streets. or maybe it's just his ass hatty face. i did laugh at him in full centurion garb. that's something i suppose. i have a soft spot for jaime bell though. billy elliot was too good to dismiss him even though it was a gajillion years ago.

so yeah. shme. i wouldn't exactly recommend this one, but if you're trapped inside or in the hospital or something i wouldn't hold watching it against you.

Friday, March 9, 2012


Priest (2011)

Writer: Cory Goodman (screenplay) Min-Woo Hyung (graphic novel)
Director: Scott Stewart
Starring: Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q, Karl Urban

priests fight vampires. a priest's family member is kidnapped by vampires. he must save her. it's futuristic/western. there's cities and trains.

The Woman
holy flying crap monkeys! this was indescribably tardo on so many levels. i laughed throughout. it just kept giving and giving, just like priests are supposed to. it was almost like watching someone take a dump the size of the vatican on the vatican. anything that mocks catholics, purposefully or not, i can get behind. i almost turned this movie off a couple of times. it didn't meet my requirements for the queue, the beginning animated back story thing had so many plot holes, but i watched this ridiculousness anyway so i thought i would share. so bad. so painful. and yet it made me giggle and smile during my eye rolls. then i started thinking that i should maybe turn it off to include my dearest in this debacle, but we've been having such a hard time watching the stuff actually in our queue i marched on alone. you should be sorry, my poopies, you missed out.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Romantics

The Romantics (2010)

Writer: Galt Niederhoffer (novel & screenplay)
Director: Galt Niederhoffer
Starring: Katie Holmes, Josh Duhamel, Anna Paquin, Malin Akerman, Adam Brody, Jeremy Strong, Rebecca Lawrence, Elijah Wood, Candace Bergen, Dianna Agron

a group of asshole friends get together for the marriage of asshole friendsat the asshole brides uber rich parents house. the asshole bride has made the asshole, katie holmes, her yale roomate/friend/nemesis, her maid of honor. the asshole groom is the asshole katie holmes ex-boyfriend of 5 years, and mutual true asshole-y love. seriously. he quotes keats as they (katie holmes and the duh-a-mel) do it under a tree the night before his wedding to sookie.

The Woman
i don't like katie holmes. i don't like anna paquin. why did i watch this movie? i. don't. know. near the beginning katie holmes in her toast mentions the incestuous relationships between their group of friends. the rest of the movie is spent hammering that fact into your skull. but nothing actually happens in a "twilight" super annoying way. none of the characters in this are lovable or redeemable. they are all spoiled, indecisive, douchey, brats. there is also a mention of "the big chill" which this movie is very reminiscent of. once again, i'm annoyed. the ending was dumb. all these assholes deserve the emotional torture they give one another.

the directing also threw me off. a pivotal point in this nonsense was when it began to rain at the end. the actors were reacting to raindrops, but i, as the viewer could not see them because the film at this particular moment was ultra grainy. there were lots of moments like this. grainy for oooooooooo independent factor.

this whole project reeked of arrogance vibe. it kept shoving all this literary stuff in your face too. uck. it makes my lip curl in repulsion just thinking back to it. it's like this movie was written by a Brett Easton Ellis character. there's my literary reference, bitch!

please don't watch this movie.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

X-Men: First Class

X-Men: First Class (2011)

Writer: Ashley Miller, Zach Stentz, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn
Director: Matthew Vaughn
Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender


The Woman
loooooooooooooooong. draggy. and not in the proper queen sort of a way. i guess this was ok. i hesitate to say that, but i will. i typed it all slow-like. it was, in my opinion, better than the first "so you know what happens to a toad when it gets hit by lightning..." nonsense, and waaay better than the third installment which was crazy bad. so i guess that's a plus?

 i don't understand the need to change details in this sort of a thing with this sort of mythology. i feel like something you labored over and was your brain baby, and the movie making business comes along years and years and years after you created it successfully, and wants to change the details...well, i'd tell them to fuck off. stan lee certainly doesn't need money. he's whoring all over the place... so i guess i just answered my question. why would  this be an exception to his whoring behavior. meh. i'm over it. whatever.

let's talk about january jones shall we? i've heard her acting in this movie compared to a wood plank. i'll tell you i think the plank has more personality. her performance is so bad. i've seen cable access shows with better actors. emma frost as betty draper. i guess her repertoire speaks for itself.

the little nods to the other movies were unnecessary, but ok, and understated. George "Ass face" Lucas  should take note on how to do that.

Shut Up Little Man! An Audio Misadventure

Shut Up Little Man! An Audio Misadventure (2011)

Director: Matthew Bate

two young guys living in san francisco recorded their drunk neighbors constant arguing in the 80's. tapes were distributed to their friends in the form of mix tapes, and it caught on. "audio verite".

The Woman
this was ok. it reminded me of "Winnebago Man" with the whole unaware of cultish fame. it got a little shme-y when it seemed all the people involved became a little too big ego and power hungry, but it brought up an interesting legal issue, which i don't think was answered in the documentary. i've seen better docs, but this was, by no means, bad.

here's the trailer for your viewing pleasure:

The Double

The Double (2011)

Writer: Michael Brandt, Derek Haas
Director: Michael Brandt
Starring: Richard Gere, Topher Grace

old agent guy comes out of retirement to find a russian spy who he hunted for blahbitty blah years. he's actually the russian spy he's looking for. he tries to keep this knowledge from the CIA and his obsessed and driven FBI agent kid.

The Woman
amazingly poor choices were made during the making of this movie. unfortunately for whoever gave this the green light it didn't matter because this movie was boring/ bad/ utterly forgettable. topher grace: not perceived as an action sort of a guy. richard gere: girly man. assassin made of wussiness. not a cold blooded killer sort. the way this was advertised made it seem like the movie was about guessing whether or not girlyman dick was, in fact, a double agent. wrong. that plot point is given away in no time flat. it's more about him evading detection, but in a boring/bad/utterly forgettable way. there was a kind of twist at the end, but it wasn't important to the stupid plot anyway, so the viewer (me) couldn't care less by the "reveal".

if you have some sort of want to view this movie walk away my friend, walk away. go sit on the toilet and take a 98 minute dump. it will be a more productive way to use that time.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre (2011)

Writer: Charlotte Bronte (um, novel), Moira Buffini (um, screenplay)
Director: Cary Fukunaga
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender, Judi Dench

do i really have to tell you? are you not familiar with bronte? a governess falls in love with her brooding employer who has a dark secret hence the broodiness.

The Woman
i read this in freshman year of high school and HATED it with the passion that i thought it lacked. now i realize i just didn't get it. i was way too young to appreciate it's subtlety. i still think rochester is a huge dickwad, but he did indeed love himself some of that jane, with all her 1800s sauciness. this movie was an excellent representation of the book. it was incredibly well directed, acted and adapted. the cinematography was really quite stunning in it's stark beauty and plainness. almost reflective of the aesthetic of the protagonist.

me likey.