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#50- Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

#100- Black Swan

#200- Mysteries of Lisbon

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Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)


Writer: Eric Roth (screenplay), F. Scott Fitzgerald (short story)
Director: David Fincher
Starring: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchette

Synopsis
Screwy-looking baby is born, baby-sized but with geezer symptoms.  He grows and loses symptoms and gains erections and does some things.  One of the things he does is a Fanning-cum-Blanchette.  He's a selfish jackass.  She's a selfish bitch. The end.



The Woman
it actually makes me laugh that this was a SHORT story. 2 hours and 48 minute movie, but short story. they must have taken it page for page, word for word, except the present in this piece of garbage was 2005 during katrina, for which, i'm pretty certain, f. scott fitzgerald was not around to see or write a short story about. this was the curious case of why the hell is this movie so long and why won't it end? i was actually giddy when it ended and rejoiced in the fact that it was finally over and i will never have to subject myself to it ever again. i laughed with moster about an hour in that we should take the advice and moral of the story and not waste our lives away by finishing this movie. seriously, this was about as predictable as an episode of "airwolf" or wait! no, better. it was as predictable as an episode of "full house"! yes! that is it! why didn't full house get any recognition by the academy? i see these two things as interchangeable.

it took ten minutes of voice over bullcrap for brad pitt to tell the audience that cate blanchette was hit by a taxi, when from 3 minutes before the scene you could tell that was exactly what was going to happen. i was yelling at the screen "get on with it!" we get it already! i couldn't wait for one of them to die. i was kind of hoping it would be waaaaay messier than it actually was. they both deserved to suffer. i suppose cate blanchette was wasting away from cancer, but still. more pain please. i want something comparable to my ass pain from sitting on the couch. perhaps a pleasant trip to vietnam in the late sixties? a napalm accident. horribly maimed by a land mine. fingers and most of the legs turned to meat chunks falling from the sky. back to cate blanchette's cancer. was it entirely necessary to keep going back to her whining incoherently from a hospital bed? cut most of that out and it could have been an 80 minute movie. eeeehhhh. i'm going on too long about this myself. if you haven't seen this don't bother. she's a bitch and he's an ass and they don't live happily ever after.

needless to say we both got up frequently an left the room and didn't even care to pause it.

MOster
The makeup in this production was above average.

2 comments:

  1. I think Moster had the only correct rant here.

    I liked that movie.

    You guys are deadly with your reviews.
    You two actually gave "Deathbed" a better review.

    ReplyDelete
  2. First and foremost, thank you for reading.

    Secondly, there was more entertainment per minute in "Death Bed," and we were actually interested in what would happen next.

    Third, we are a pair of jaded bastards. We discussed that fact while not giving a fuck about anything happening on the screen.

    ReplyDelete