this show is so ridiculously bad i have to write down thoughts and quotes as i watch it. i started watching it with the boy to mix things up a bit. we tend to view this when he's waking up from his nap and needs a buffer before he goes full conscious for the afternoon. i apologize for missing the first 6 episodes, but i had the he-man movie/ she-ra spin off origin movie in college. so i knew how bad, i mean awesome, the first 5 episodes were. yep 5. the 6th episode was where my journey into Etheria and stupidity really began, and i had no idea what i was getting myself into. the sarcasm nodule in my brain almost made my head explode. i had to follow through. the following is my stream of consciousness/summary written down while viewing the filmation gem "SHE-RA: Princess of POOOOOOWER"
Episode 7: The Red Knight
everything in this show should just be named sparkle rainbow fluffy soft sparkles glitter shiny pink purple or some mixture thereof. like bow, his horse is a pussy. it threw him when a frog jumped into a pond in the dark and spooky light blue and navy blue sparkle glitter forest. bow and glitter puss pink hair immediatly get captured and stunned. adora evades laser beam stun laser by sommersaulting on the ground a couple times, but scorpia comes up behind her and oh no!instead of poisoning her with her scorpion tail, just restrains her with it. they get saved by the red knight! rejoice. things happen. angella is intrigued by this mystery man. so is bow.... blatantly hitting on him with some remark about how he won't let this guy leave. they invite him to the rebel fair, held each year to celebrate the creation of the rebels....kay. oh no! a run away cart! "this looks like a job for she-ra!" because a run away cart is a very dangerous thing. the horse is running straight off into that abandoned field. "i'll be a twigless twiggle" bow says....indeed sir. by the way. ginger errol flynn staches are not cool or debonair. race begins. the famous rebel fair race that bow wins every year. it's witty quip after witty quip after witty quip. the red knight wins! bow's a total bitch and goes to pout in the forest and leave the rebel force forever. he lost the race to a guy who brought the ever helpful all-in one, race winning lance that helped him pole vault over a wall, and gondola himself across the river, and use as a balance pole while crossing the plank of wood over that ravine. frankly, i'm a little surprised that was allowed, rebels. it's kind of cheating. and cheating is not a good and virtuous thing to do. the horde cheats and that's looked down upon in the rebel army. hypocrites! terrorists! anyway. koala rainbow thing tells adora the bow is leaving forever and packed up his bitch stuff and left and her response is.....wait for it....."this looks like a job for she-ra" she can't even handle looking in the woods for her tantrum throwing friend. can we say crutch adora? maybe she gets a rush of dopamine every time she transforms and those sparkles swirling around her are what she sees when she's high and she's really just an addict. conveniently, hordak, who apparently knows all about this rebel festival, decides to go capture angella with his menacing bubble gun. why not a wet noodle gun? why not just throw glitter at them and hypnotize them with it's sparkle glitter? she-ra saves the day. bubble gun has been turned on hordak and he bounces out of the castle in his bubble. the rebels laugh at hordak. the mysterious red knight says he won't reveal his identity until the horde is wiped out from etheria and they all pump their fists in the air, giving a rebel yell.
the stupid guy that hides and sums up the the message of the show in case you missed it was hiding in a bracnh in front of the castle. i think he was hiding in a branch in front of a different structure in the last episode. stay tuned to see of this trend continues.