Bottom

Bottom: Complete Series (1991-1995)

Starring: Rick Mayall and Adrian Edmonson

Synopsis
Eddie Hitler and Richard Richard live together in an apartment. They argue a lot and hit each other a lot and sometimes they have friends over.  Once or twice they leave the apartment.

The Woman
this was as if rik and vyvian grew up and out of their young idealism all the while still living together. on a whole i enjoyed it. those two really have great chemistry together. some episodes were really funny others seemed to miss the mark a bit. richie richard and edward hitler are totally awesome names, and truly are the bottom.

this and exposing my husband to buffy the vampire slayer are the reason for the light posting on the blog lately. i take full responsibility and don't regret it.


MOster
I don't want to talk about the implausibility of the premise because that would be dumb of me.

I don't think this one did as much for me as it did for el Woman. It wasn't as crappy as it could have been, and even the setups that didn't succeed came from a cerebral place.  The slapstick violence in the earlier episodes evolved (to an extent) to be more strategically-deployed carnage later on, and some of those longer-term payoffs were really great.  There was definitely some humor in here and I laughed aloud a few times.

But it was a LONG way to go to get those laughs out of me.

I Am Number Four

I Am Number Four (2011)

Wroiter rhymes with Goiter: Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, and Marti Noxon (now i know who to blame for the crummy "buffy" episodes) and Pittacus Lore who is apparently two people and wrote the thrilling (i'm sure) novel, and who also deserve to be eaten by manbearpig for choosing possibly the lamest pen name available in imagination land.
Director: D.J Tanner- i mean, Caruso
Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Dianna Agron, Tim Olyphant, and Callan McAuliffe

Synopsis
an alien teenager boy hotstuff with special alien powers is fourth on a hitlist of another alien race's hitlist. how does he know he's the fourth? i don't know. apparently there are only NIEN, i mean nine left of his peaceful alien race. these nine were made to have super powers to protect the rest of their planet from the evil forces of the morg (?). they have pointy teeth and gills and are not the curly blonde looker ones just on case you didn't get that they are the bad aliens. in fact, while i was watching this, an argument was forming in my brain to compare this to a pervasive aryan agenda film, but i don't really have the energy to form a complete document. edits have been made to this synopsis to further my point.

The Woman
this was number two. i can't be the only person to have jumped on that joke. not that i had high expectations here or anything. i put this on the queue for that fill of bad teenage movies. in that respect it was only a slight let down with the lack of content. bubblegum that loses it's flavor after 30 seconds. i hate movies that are just complete setup for sequels. it drives me nuts. you can have setup and still have a strong enough movie to stand on it's own. then when they don't do well (like apparently this one) there are no sequels made and we are just left with a steaming pile of intention. i gave this the dispassionate two stars of :"didn't like it" which translates into "did i see that?"

The Perfect Host

The Perfect Host (2010)

Writer: Nick Tomnay, Krishna Jones
Director: Nick Tomnay
Starring: David Hyde Pierce, Clayne Crawford

Synopsis
a bank robber falls into the tangly web of a weirdo where he is forced to participate in a pretend dinner party.

The Woman
i had such high hopes for this one. david hyde pierce was fantastic, and who wouldn't have fun playing a psychotic. i especially loved the "car wash" dance number. unfortunately, he couldn't carry the whole movie. the plot was a little weak bordering on lame and then it took a turn for a what-the-fuck?. the whole last 15-20 minutes felt totally disconnected from the rest of the movie. why introduce a whole new subplot at that point? it didn't make any sense. i think, if i recall correctly, i actually made a stink face upper lip curl. that's a pretty strong reaction for someone who is immersed in getting as much knitting of the hooded sweater vest as i can before my kid awakes and needs some sort of parental supervision. oh, well. on to the next movie.

Brüno

Brüno (2009)

Written by Sascha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Mazer, Jeff Schaffer, Peter Baynham
Directed by Larry Charles (ALL BY HIMSELF)

Synopsis
bruno is an austrian. he gets fired from his network where he has a fashion show. he loses his chic friends. he decides to go to los angeles to make it in the big time. hijinx ensue.

MOster
This was entertaining, but I'm not sure it was really a movie.  While there was a storyline with a resolution, it was really a framing voice for Cohen's real point: to display people being thrust vehemently out of their comfort zones and to ridicule people for their utter ignorance (there is, of course, some overlap here).

With that in mind, it kind of fell off for me around the 20 minute mark. There were plenty of laughs after that point but they weren't continuous anymore. After all, once a talking urethra is on the screen what are you going to do next?

The Woman
i think the problem with this movie was the humor way overshadowed the trite plot. the storyline was too linear and extremely secondary. it's like they blew their wad on the interviews and the characters and there was just a sac of empty testicles left for plot ideas. i laughed. i was uncomfortable and squirming in my seat in parts. i.e. the woman who said her one year old could lose 10 pounds in a week so she would be cast in the photo, or the ron paul part. it was way in your face, but i think that's a good thing, and also one of the points of the movie, but shme. meh. meh. now i can say i've seen it.

Ceremony

Ceremony (2010)

Writer:  Max Winkler
Director: Max Winkler 
Starring: Michael Angarano, Uma Thurman, Reece Thompson, Lee Pace  

Synopsis
an extremely self-centered guy in his early twenties, accompanied by his shy and introverted friend, crashes the all weekend wedding event of the older woman he is madly in love with and tries to convince her that he is the one she should be with.

The Woman 
i highly enjoyed this. i thought this was going to be  pretty poor, but was pleasantly surprised. i have actually been putting off watching it because usually these sort of indie-ish "romantic comedies" are terrible, but this was a success, in my opinion. the characters are all extremely flawed, and most of them are not even likeable. the main character sam davis is a huge ass, but you begin to see how desperate he is, and yet how misled he is and begin to empathize with him. as the movie unfolds his heartbreak is tangible, which only makes him more desperate and more blind to the inevitable outcome. the story telling was great. the direction was quite beautiful. and the ending was perfect. i could watch this one more than once.

way to take a completely cliche plot and make it incredibly unique, max winkler. hats off to you, sir.

Foxes

Foxes (1980)

Writer: Gerald Ayres
Director: Adrian Lyne
Starring: Jodi Foster, Cherie Currie, and Scott Baio and Randy Quaid

Synopsis
Four high school senior girls live in LA.  They deal with absent parents (some of whom actually care) and the stupidity that comes with their age.  Tribulations ensue.

The Woman
this was pretty after school special. retardedly so. a pack of teen girls in various states of unhappy home life. jodie foster- chick who feels the need to take care of everybody because of her childish mother and absent father. cherie currie- chick who has launched herself head first into drugs and out of comtrol wildness because her cop father is out of control controlling and abusive. the whore chick, and the virgin side kicks. that's stereo typed clique clicheness right there. in my all girls highschool experience the whores hung with the whores, the virgins hung with the virgins and the boozers and addicts hung with each other with the jodi foster type thrown in for good measure but she was usually into the booze and drugs too.

it walked that fine line of terrible and awesome with a few tips each way.  i guess when it tips to terrible that automatically overrides the awesomeness. no matter how many times it is awesomely bad. you know? yeah. i wouldn't tell anyone to watch this, but i didn't hate it. i kind of couldn't wait for one or more of these chicks to die.

THEY'RE DARING TO DO IT!

MOster
Dude, I don't remember much about this; it kind of washed over me.  It was very much a product of its period.  The acting was rather good, actually. The direction was pretty good.  The production was (methinks) quite realistic.  There are few elements of the story (and no major ones) that you can't predict after about...well...I'll be charitable and say nine minutes of screen time.  So watch the first nine minutes and then fast forward to the (spoiler alert!) drunken death and funeral.

Unless you're in love with Scott Baio or Randy Quaid, because they're only in the middle.

Case 39

Case 39 (2009) or as it's known in Mexico: Caso 39

Writer: Ray "scarypants"Wright
Director: Christian Alvert
Starring: Fishlips McGee or "renee zelleweger" if you prefer, Jodelle Ferland, Ian McShane

Synopsis
social worker CPS agent fishlips squinty eyes is given her 39th active case. she checks it out. the parents come off as crazy wackadoos. they try and kill their daughter in a fairly awesome way only to be stopped by that meddling case worker. case worker has the little girl placed in her home to give that sense of reality, and things start to go spooooooooooky.

The Woman
wow. this was amazing. i knew i was going to enjoy it when netflixed guessed i was going to give it two stars. yet another stupid unthought out "horror" movie where ooooooooo! people are killed. and ooooooooo! the girl is innocent like a devil spawn. i saw this movie when it was done better and it was called "orphan". and i disliked it then. at least in "orphan" things were laid out for you. yeah it was lame, but at least they gave motive and explained the PLOT. i think the motive and what this girl really was was left out on purpose to make it more mysterious and scary(? for lack of a better term) it just made it poor and really dumb.