Cthulhu

Cthulhu (2007)


Director: Dan Gildark
Writer: Grant Codgswell, Dan Gildark, H.P. Lovecraft (book)
Starring: Jason Cottle

Synopsis
the only things i'm sure about are this: there was this gay guy. things happened.
MOster
Being a dork adjacent to the Dragonlance types, I know there's something called Cthulu and I know it has a really rich history with a bunch of lore.  I therefore can't help feeling bad for people who might watch this movie thinking they'll get anything comprehensibly resembling of that story.

This was funded at least in part by Logo so it's understandable that they'd make a big deal out of the fact that the main character is gay.  But it doesn't actually play into the story at all.  I understand, "Hey. This is a gay dude and he's back home and this is his ex boyfriend."  Replace a couple of words and that's a common (if potentially facile) means of exposition.  But that should be the end of it.  His homosexuality is immaterial to the fact that he hasn't produced any offspring; and neither does it play at all into the apparently ridiculous climax.

I kind of disagree with the notion of giving this movie a 1 because it didn't generate in me enough passion to be classified as "hate."  I wanted to understand this movie and I hoped to enjoy it, but it didn't make me give a flying fuck, gay or straight, about anything... including the actual experience of consuming it.

The Woman
what? i don't get. salamander people? the end of the world as we know it? this was like from someone who really really liked "twin peaks: fire walk with me" and tried to attempt some sort of david lynchiness, but failed on an epic level. i have no idea what was going on 98% of the time in this movie.  i am tempted to read this book just to see what the fuck i spent an hour an a half watching.  is that a good thing? usually i would say yes because it invoked some want to research further. but in this case i'm going to have to say na nay no, my man. wattatai.

"i am the aaaaarm"