The Best and the Brightest

The Best and the Brightest (2010)

Writer: Josh Shelov, Michael Jaeger
Director: Josh Shelov
Starring: Bonnie Sommerville, Neil Patrick Harris, Amy Sedaris

Synopsis
a woman bent on getting her 5 year old into a good manhattan school tells the head mistress of one of those schools that her husband is a poet. hijinx- a print out of a friend's sexting gets mistaken for the poetry. hijinx.

The Woman
i really want to like this one, but i pause because there is issue. the main character is a horrible person. she wants to hang with the cool kids so desperately, and yet, she sees how horrible they are and doesn't care. supposedly, it's all for the good of her daughter because it's all about getting her into a good kindergarten, because public school is presented as a fate worse than the fiery bowels of satan who happens to be going through a flare up of IBS. what i'm about to say may sound horrible, but i would rather have my kid hang out with the non-psychotic and "stupid", than deal with the nonsense of upper crust manhattan. so i deluded myself throughout this entire film thinking she would see the light and the grossness behavior of the people in position that was mocked through the entire movie and realize it's not about whatever elite school her kid gets into because her kid is awesome the way she is. whether it be manhatten or delaware...nope. perhaps maybe she'll realize that her goal is all about her and not her child? no. maybe she'll see how miserable her family is scraping by in the city? no. whatever.

the actual naughty sexting turned poetry was mildly funny, because, truly. it was kind of poetic. but meh.

the only ray of light in this is amy sedaris. she bangs it out of mediocre and makes me want to like this movie despite it's incredible faults. seriously, she's awesome. if you are into her, watch this movie. just ignore the movie part. you could even fast forward through all the other scenes. it was nice to see that the really funny white chick from "in living color" is still alive too. yeah, i spotted you. i thought you were the bomb when i was 11. i should probably go check now to see if i'm right...please, of course i am. another shout out to an actress i haven't seen in awhile: the cold hearted bitch head mistress of the school ann shirley teaches at in "ann of avonlea" guess what she plays in this? the cold hearted bitch head mistress. who's on first? exactly. have i begun to ramble? i have a ton of holiday cards to go fill...i can't sit here and ramble. wonder pets is on so i only have a half hour left before i have to start cooking dinner.

final thought jerry springer style: if you need an amy sedaris fix to warm the cockles of your super caustic and sarcastic soul, you may want to expose yourself to this. if not, not even the presence of the NPH could save this movie.

Moon

Moon (2009)
Written by Duncan Jones, Nathan  Parker
Directed by Duncan Jones
Starring Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey


Synopsis
A lone man works supporting automated hydrogen gathering devices at a moon base.

The Woman
i highly enjoyed this movie. the subject of unoriginal plots has been coming up a lot for me lately so this was an excellent break of uniqueness. it mostly keeps the viewer guessing of which sci-fi plot has been ripped off here, and i was in suspense at the end. i will not say more because to talk about this movie may ruin it.

MOster
It's hard to write about this one.  It is quite good. It is original, and while it was easy to figure out many of the elements of the story it wasn't until very near the end that the entire picture came into focus. The story continually takes old tropes of SciFi and turns them on their ears.  Within the context of the story, everything makes sense, and it ekes along the line between SF and true SciFi.

Sam Rockwell was perfectly cast. He has just the right level of range and talent to express the kinds of craziness inherent in a long-term assignment with only a robot to keep him company.  Similarly, Kevin Spacey does everything possible as the voice of the robot.

Story-technically, this is right where it should be. Things move slowly in space and they act differently in microgravity.  Everything in the environment where he works has a function; nothing is superfluous.  Space suits are inherently clumsy, and vacuum doesn't happen immediately.  Film-technically, this was complicated to film and it worked very well.  Tension in close quarters, coupled with the instability of the Rockwell character, came together perfectly.  Impatience is palpable in this presentation.

Hollywood should make more movies like this. It was excellent and it must have cost about $15M.  This is a solid, high 4.  I recommend it highly and strenuously.

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2011)


Writer: Thomas Dean Donnelly & Joshua Oppenheimer, Tiziano Sclavi (comic)
Director: KevinMunroe
Starring: superman 3.0 as the only human, yet still gigantically ripped and Sam Huntington

Synopsis
the human in charge of keeping all sorts of undeadkind in line but not anymore, comes out of "retirement" when he takes on the case of a human murdered by a werewolf.

The Woman
this was truly bad. just bad. it brought back memories of the first "hellboy" or "dick tracy" in their badness/boring level and such rich potential and source material. i've never read the comic of this, but it failed as an hour and a half movie. there was just too much there and it came off as rushed and yet totally boring at the same time. i watched this in two installments because naptime has seriously decreased in its duration, and i actually forgot all about it at bath time/bedtime (my next free spot of time) and only realized 10 minutes into naptime the next day that i still had 45 minutes left. that doesn't bode well at all. i could have walked away, never finished it, and been completely alright with that outcome.

the plot itself was totally unoriginal and predictable down to the double cross at the end. the main character didn't even defeat the big bad. some werewolf who had one scene and one line did. a glorified walk-on. the main character wasn't even in the same scene when this hard defeat was achieved. also, i didn't understand why, if this dylan dog is just human how he could get thrown two stories and get up to continue fighting a huge winged black demon that used to be the reason why stella got her groove back. merely a fleshwound!  and i would like to comment on the total wussy big bad with the gigantic weakness of being tied into this realm by a human with hordes of the undead with super human powers around. kill the meek human, and the demon that means to kill all the undead dies too. amazing that the battle lasted a mere 2 minutes. amazing that all the undead wanted this thing that would bring fear to their kind for as long as it takes to rip a jugular.

lastly, the comedy came off as so desperate in it's attempt to be funny that it was not funny at all.  liggity lame. i'd rather watch "daybreakers" 10 times. and i hate ethan hawke.

Slasher

Slasher (2004)


Director: John Landis

Synopsis
a documentary about a guy that gets hired by car dealerships to get rid of their old stock in one gigantic super sale weekend.

MOster 
I feel like there should have been more context here.  I know it's a doc, but the stakes weren't really there and there was no conflict to speak of.  The way the sales are run and how prices are determined is interesting in that "not surprising but still disgusting/annoying" way.  I do like how they showed customer dissatisfaction on multiple levels, but those were much more in the customers of the dealership rather than the customers of the "slasher."

John Landis did a really good documentary about Don Rickles; this one was nothing compared to that.


The Woman
meh. this was interesting, but forgettable. the slasher himself, was kind of a total stereotype of used car salesman which was sort of amusing. there was also an interesting parallel that developed between his services and used cars. meaning you pay a lot more and expect a lot more than you should.

Owning Mahowny

Owning Mahowny (2003)


Writer: Gary Steven Ross (book), Muarice Chauvet (screenplay),
Director: Richard Kwietniowski
Starring: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Minnie Driver, John Hurt

Synopsis
This is the hypothetically true story of a Canadian banker who scams millions of dollars out of his bank and uses those dollars to gamble recklessly.


The Woman
for some reason movies about gambling addiction really bother me to the point where i just don't want to watch them. this was no exception. it was good, i guess, but i just have problems watching someone shoot down the tube of that downward spiral at the speed of light. i'll give a shout out to john hurt. his character kind of saved this movie for me. philip seymour hoffman did good as usual, but it's just not my bag.

MOster
This is a movie about desperation as much as it is about addiction; and it succeeds within those parameters.  Even without the title card and early scene in the interrogation room, it's clear from about three minutes in that this is not the sort of movie where the protagonist will miraculously win a big bet and walk away from the table.  The chief success of this movie for me was that it generated empathy; it was difficult not to hold my head in my hands as his scheme expanded.

Hoffman's range is pretty darned wide and you can almost smell the tired sweat embedded in his clothes.  Watching directly through the lens of the camera it's all about him.  Witnessing him over the shoulder of casino monitoring staff it comes across expertly in the two sets of angles involved.  A beautiful shot of a lone car in a commercial parking garage drives the point home with an eloquence which, while superfluous, could not be left on the cutting room floor.

All three principal performances here are perfectly understated.  Barely recognizable under blond hair and a Canadian accent, Minnie Driver works quite well as the girlfriend who deludes herself into taking far too long to pull her head out of the sand.  John Hurt's character could be the main one with a few edits and a little more exposition.  As neither foil for nor enabler of Mahowny he exists in parallel, knowing exactly how this type of person works but still curious as to his origins. 

I started this one by writing, "I think I liked this movie more than I should have," and that's only due to a score which (beginning with a mention in the opening credits) works too hard to underline points that require no emphasis.  But it became forgettable in the three days it's taken me to write this.

I enjoy it when I like a (mainstream(ish) American) movie more than my Woman.

Morning Glory

Morning Glory (2010)


Writer: Aline Brosh McKenna
Director: Roger Michell
Starring: Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford

Synopsis
 a jersey girl who has been dreaming of being a national morning show producer since elementary school finally finds an opportunity in the worst, most poorly rated, national morning show haling from the "ibs" channel. it's called "daybreak" and every time this titled was uttered i thought they said "date rape" so i had to do a double take. every time. of course she has to turn it around in a short amount of time to stop it from being canceled so she goes rogue...

The Woman
i know. yet another romantic comedy. however, this was not romantic, nor comedic. it tried to be comedic, but failed on an almost epic level. i can't say if it was trying to be a romantic comedy as the romance kind played on the backest burner, behind the new job drama, and the father figure drama. unfortunately, this had every romantic comedy's plot, just without the romantic comedy in the plot. the editing was distractingly weird too. i didn't understand the point in this movie at all. the focus was so scattered and the sidekicks who had such potential were wasted.

all in all i would say this was pretty horrible.

The Switch

The Switch (2010)

Writer: Allan Loeb (screenplay)
Director: Josh Gordon, Will Speck
Starring: Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston

Synopsis
the bestest friend of a woman who has decided to inseminate herself accidentally ruins the semen she plans to use so replaces it with his own swimming army.


The Woman
gross. i actually enjoyed this one. i don't know why. i recognize it wasn't a good movie, but it must have caught me on a good day. i would not tell anyone to watch this movie. i would never watch it again, but i enjoyed our time together. the little kid was totally awesome. bits of the personality reminded me of my dear grumbly husband. not the hypochondria, just the pessimism and attitude.

jason bateman's character was, indeed, a horrible person. he did an incredibly horrible thing, but that's ok because jennifer aniston really loved him in the end. it doesn't matter that the kid missed out on having a father for the first 6 years of his life. it was just destiny kid. you were just the vehicle to get horrible person and man issues low self esteem lady together. that last bit was a little harsher than i intended, but i'm keeping it in to emphasize that this was not a good movie despite my less than negative response whilst sitting on the couch. i'm a little bitter about my feelings towards this movie....

p.s. whenever i see jason bateman i think of "little house on the prairie" more specifically, the one where charles comes off the hinges and builds that massive plaster altar and god comes and heals little jason bateman from the coma he fell in after he was run over by the gig...you know the one.