Queue Total

284 MOVIES (released titles only)

Note: Real spoilers are in black text on a black background. Highlight the black areas to read the spoilers.

Queue Numbers

#50- Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

#100- Black Swan

#200- Mysteries of Lisbon

Last- Once Upon a Time in Anatolia

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Jack Brooks, Monster Slayer

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)

Writer:Jon Knautz, John Ainslie
Director:Jon Knautz
Starring: some people

i honestly don't really remember. this happened weeks ago. some guy who is taking night classes slays his professor after his professor turns into a monster after he finds some sort of demony black heart in his back yard. low budget. low quality. CANADIAN. no gore. barely any violence.

Even if it hadn't been three fucking weeks since we watched this movie I wouldn't want to waste my time eviscerating it.  It didn't offend me, because I don't think it had very much intent to do anything at all to the emotion of the viewer.  To attribute something like intent to someone who could put this shit together is unfair to first-degree murderers and war criminals.

This isn't even a movie where I could say "It's 80-odd minutes long and only the last 20 have action," with a straight face. Because while that's true it implies that there's something on those last 20 minutes worth a meager fraction of your existence; and that is CERTAINLY not the case.

The Woman
this was reeeeeaaaaallllly lame. when you have low budget like this you have to go really campy or it just doesn't work. it has to be like "bad taste" or some troma movie to contain any entertainment value. this wasn't even "the skeptic" bad. it was just lame bad. i left the room for most of it because i got so bored. he doesn't even become a monster slayer until the last 2 minutes of the movie. lame. lame. lame. and i would like to add...i put this on the queue. my bad.

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