Writer: Steve Antin
Director: Steve Antin
Starring: Cher, Christina Aguilera,, and volchok/james who did us all a favor by killing marissa on the o.c. and giving kristen stewart a seizure in twilight, oh and Stanley Tucci
Synopsis
a totally original small town girl goes to big city to make it story. she finds her niche in a night club called burlesque where a frozen faced elderly woman owner autotunes along to some dancing chicks with fishnets and captain hats. the rest of them lip sync along to the oldies while dancing in fishnets and corsets. that is until christina aguilera busts out with her extreme multiple-note-syndrome. the obstacles were leading lady rivalry, the bank was foreclosing on the club, and what guy is christina aguilera going to choose? rich boy or bohemian?
The Woman
i actually watched this a couple weeks ago and forgot to write about it. these are the points that i remembered i wanted to make.
this reminded me of a cocktail of "coyote ugly" and "glitter". the performance routines were interesting, but the plot was way too stupid and done to death, and who cares. i found it amazing that cher could lip sync her own autotuned-self with her skin pulled so tight, filled with things, and paralyzed in places. every time alan cumming was shown i though "oh, yeah! i forgot he was in this movie!" and i LOVE alan cumming. he was totally wasted in this movie. i'm not sure why he was even in it. i think he had two lines in the beginning and then he had his routine that was cut to and from as filler for a vapid conversation between aguilera and someone else. i don't know if i would even recommend this as an eye candy experience...i will say that my almost three year old son loved the music. he was gettin' way down to it. so the soundtrack is appealing to preschoolers. i don't know if that was what they were going for, given the content of sexyness sexy time dancing, but they achieved it. so there is that. maybe watch it for the eye candy and stanley tucci. he acts a good gay.
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