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#50- Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

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Thursday, April 1, 2010

Spread

Spread 2009
Director David Mackenzie
Writer Jason Dean Hall
Starring Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche, Margarita Levieva

Synopsis (by Leila):
misogynistic man whore meets anne heche. man whore uses anne heche for house and clothes and food and car. anne heche gets her vagina walls injected with fat. man whore meets regular sort of whore (lady whore) man whore starts relationship with whore. who cares.

MOster:
Ashton Kutcher spends the first half of this movie acting like a reasonably high quality gigolo and occasionally being called a whore.  Early on, he develops a base of operations in the home of Anne Heche (Former Lesbian).  Shortly after listing a series of rules about how to earn/keep trust and continue living the cushy life, his abuse of others’ hospitality lands him in the street.  Character development occurs with no real impetus; and a series of voiceovers ostensibly give some insight into the character, but in reality they serve to divide the movie into two disparate segments.

Near the halfway mark the movie shifts from something which could have been interesting--I was really hoping to find him in the gutter under the credits--to your standard romantic plot (the love interest being a kindred whore spirit who he meets while living with Heche), only now that plot has to play out in 40 minutes instead of 85; and while the ending is unexpected, it’s not in any way unique.

Late in the movie, Kutcher says, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” and my shouted response was, “Why?!”


the woman
who cares? nobody watching this movie. ashton kutcher through the whole movie, sounds like he's got a serious crack habit that, in turn, burned his vocal chords . why? to sound tougher maybe? FAIL. once again, i think the viewer is supposed to feel sorry for a totally unredeemable charachter. boooo. i feel so sorry for the unintelligent, aging man whore who has, for the last decade at least, sociopathically, manipulated women. awwwwww. now he's in a downward spiral, and even his friends don't care if he's out on the street. boo-hoo.

enter heather, his mirror image except with a vagina. she takes care of his sorry ass, but continues to whore. oh no! she doesn't want to leave the life of the superficial, where she gets taken care of with mad cash from her lovers. poor ashton. SPOILER ALERT! the end

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