Daybreakers

Daybreakers (20090

Writer: the Spierig Brothers!
Director: the Spierig Brothers!
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, some chick(Claudia Karvan), and Sam Neil

Synopsis
in a world where vampires rule (2019), there are so few humans left the vampires are starving and turning into the vampires from blade II except instead of super vampires, they're more like rabid vampires. mopey vampire hematologist, ethan hawke, is trying to find a cure for vampirism or a blood substitute to quench the crazy nosferatu looking guys. he works for the corporate asshole, sam neil vampire, who is just interested in making money! mopey ethan hawke runs into a bunch of humans one night, and eventually finds his cure through awesome generally-but-not-in-this-movie, willem dafoe. can ethan hawke become awesome and save all vampires by making them human again!?! maybe.

The Woman
um. i was entertained in the beginning. it held my interest. then the movie part happened and that kind of went towards the shme poop side of things. if you don't have to, i wouldn't watch this. it was better than "surrogates", but not by much. willem dafoe had a lot to do with that too simply because he is awesome. ethan hawke should stick to lisa loebe videos. there was the special guest star trans am as a plus. t-top and everything. maybe you should watch it for that.

The Boys: The Sherman Brothers' Story

The Boys: The Sherman Brothers' Story (2009)

Director: Gregory V. Sherman, Jeff Sherman
Synopsis
a documentary about the sherman brother's rise as the guys behind every disney song you knew as a kid, and there personal conflicts with one another

The Woman
this was interesting, but i felt it was a little white washed. it was brought to us by disney so i shouldn't be too surprised. the main topic of their brotherly relationship, the dysfunction, and arguments, that eventually led to them not speaking to one another for 40 years was never directly addressed. it was discussed at length how they didn't get along, but it was presented like they just drifted apart. i'm not sure i buy that because the animosity was pretty intense. not only did they not speak, but their families were pretty much instructed not to see each other either.

it was interesting to see how they worked, and how different their style and approach to work was. i also enjoyed hearing the behind the scenes stories about disney in it's heyday when walt was still alive. all the shenanigans and conflicts. but like i said, i felt there were some important things left out. 

Gene Kelly: Anatomy of a Dancer

Gene Kelly: Anatomy of a Dancer (2002)
Written (?) by Robert Trachtenberg
Directed by Robert Trachtenberg
Narrated by Stanley Tucci

Synopsis
a documentary biography of gene kelly

MOster
Here's an example of a documentary in which the material outpaces the production.  I couldn't get enough of watching him dance and hearing him sing, and the history itself was interesting; for one example I didn't know that he consulted with Michael Jackson.  It was also great to hear about his influence on cinema of the times and how that influence can still be felt today.

But the thing was a little too cloying.  They talk a bit about his perfectionism and a somewhat rocky relationship with Donen (who I didn't realize got his start as Kelly's assistant), but I feel there was more under the surface.  The reasons his first wife, one of the main sources of talking head footage, left him were left a little too vague for me.

At the end of the day I learned some things and I got to watch a good amount of his dancing, some of which I hadn't seen before.

Finally, and apropos of something, fuck you, "Glee."

The Woman
it's about gene kelly so it's good. it's also filled with clips of him dancing which who wouldn't want to watch that? his dancing just makes you smile because it's so awesome. i did fall asleep during the last 10 minutes, not because i was bored, but because my kid wore me out and it was way past my bedtime. kelly gets kind of that super perfectionist, therefore really demanding on other people reputation, but as a fellow perfectionist, i understand. you have to be demanding and kind of an ass to other people if you're going to get that good and that far with what you do. does that make sense? sometimes i just sit and ramble out on the keyboard and i'm not sure if i'm making sense to the readers. writing happens to be one of the things i am not a perfectionist or particularly good at...can you tell? i have never quite forgiven writing for the essay i had to do in 6th grade for the state testing things (topic: who is your hero?) and i had such a bad score, i was pulled from art class for a semester to go to the "special" writing class. i became an artist not an author so i would still like to spit in the eye of writing. mission accomplished with all my run on sentences and bad grammar, and commas, placed, in weird, spots.

gene kelly was the best, most masculine dancer ever. debbie gibson is still my hero.

The Extra Man

The Extra Man (2010)
Written by Robert Pulcini, Jonathan Ames (book also), Shari Springer Berman
Directed by Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini
Starring Paul Dano, Kevin Kline, Katie F. Holmes, John C. Reilly

Synopsis
Odd English professor gets kicked out of his teaching job in New Jersey and comes to Manhattan where he rents a room from an eccentric "Extra Man," or semi-gigolo.


The Woman
i though this was totally fantastic. i love stories with bizarre, yet totally awesome characters. i have already recommended this so there is my opinion on it. i usually don't find independent movies entertaining because they are usually just cerebral. is that a huge generalization or what? i'm tempted to read the book, but i don't want to ruin the movie for myself. plus my book queue is three books deep right now, and that's enough books to keep me busy for a year....shut up. paul dano was perfectly cast and well played, despite moster's incredulity. i have known guys like this. i can name at least two off of the top of my head and having gone to art school i'm sure i can think of more if i sit down and focus on it. so shme, my poopies. even though this movie is marred by the presence of 1 josephine potter, her role is minor, and an unintelligent, annoying nitwit. sooo i guess once again good casting choice? plus john c. reilly cancels her out. good, good, good. i watched it twice.

MOster
I'm not as enamored of this movie as my woman is.  While I might accept the existence of one of these three people in a single "filmic universe"--and it's even plausible to have Gershon and Henry living in the same building and being weird--I just don't buy the Dano character intersecting with this universe.  I just don't buy his utter naivete.  There are cell phones in this universe and it's supposed to be quaint that these people eschew the Interwebs and live in the 70s in their heads, but how did this dude get through high school and college without forming sufficient interpersonal skills?  I just couldn't suspend that, and so it got on my nerves.

That said, I did chuckle more than once and I was interested (if not invested) in what happened to these people; and by and large the actual goings on of the film were conveyed well.  This strange, grayish-brown New York was fully realized without feeling like any significant skill went into it.  This was equal parts frustration and entertainment; and I don't know how strongly I recommend it.

I'm Still Here

I'm Still Here (2010)


Director: Casey Affleck
Writer: Casey Affleck, Joaquin Phoenix
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix and two other guys and a couple of celebrities

Synopsis
a "documentary" into the transition of actor to hip hop artist...by joaquin phoenix

The Woman
if you want to watch an hour and a half of joaquin phoenix yelling at people you have discovered gold in this movie my friend! just yelling and boring and a big fat joke. i don't need yet another raw, edgy, inside look into celebrity. it's been done. it's been done far better. when i hit the play button i told myself, here we go. why am i going to subject myself to this? and the survey says.....i....don't...know. i've never liked joaquin. he is pretty much the epitome of the arrogance vibe in everything he's done. well, maybe not space camp. and this portrays him as mean and angry and egotistical, but not even in a cool way because he's got nothing to back it up with. i feel like sometimes you can say man, that guy is a douche, but at least he's got the chops. like angelo from "top chef" that guy is a total douche. i literally would like to hit him in the face, but the dude apparently can cook.

joaquin approaches hip hop as a sort of joke. he doesn't seem to take it seriously and yet he acts as if he's already made it in the industry. nobody wants to hear about how hard it is to be a celebrity. boo fucking hoo. are you blowing your snots with 100 dolla bills? life is so hard. fuck you. i think my favorite part was when he was yelling at the miami nightclub crowd by claiming how rich he was. yep. that will win them over. it sure won me over. moster is slightly mad i watched this without him. he doesn't realize what a blessing i have farted down upon him.

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About his Father

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (2008)


Director: Kurt Kuenne

Synopsis
a documentary about the murder of andrew bagby.

The Woman
this movie totally gutted me. if you know me, then you know i hate to be emotional about things, but i seriously cried through this whole movie, sobbed even. i'm getting emotional writing about it now. i couldn't sleep. totally and completely effected by this. it's been a week since i watched it because i couldn't write about it without feeling that raw wound.

it's presented while the events are still unfolding in the case. so the documentary keeps shifting in it's focus and intent. it was made by a childhood friend of the victim. the prime suspect is andrew bagby's obsessed ex girlfriend and the evidence is pretty damning. she flees to newfoundland where she announces through her lawyer that she is 4 months pregnant with andrew's baby. this is where the focus shifts and the director travels all over the country talking to relatives, friends and colleagues, collecting as much of andrew's life so the baby can know his father. extradition proceedings go so slowly, andrew's parents actually move to newfoundland to be close for their grandchild's birth. they also sue for custody.

i was concerned in the beginning of the film that this was one-sided and making the mother seem like a terrible human being, but by the middle i could see that, in fact, she was terrible and a psycho to boot. through phone call recordings and correspondences her psychosis begins to come to light. she uses the baby to manipulate andrew's parents, who are forced to deal with the accused murderer of their own child. they have to participate in this woman's existence to participate in their grandson's life. the justice system totally screws these poor people over. completely. i don't want to give too much away about it so i will stop here. this was an incredibly powerful and moving film. and that, coming from me, should tell you something.

Ninja Cheerleaders

Ninja Cheerleaders (2008)
Written by David Presley
Directed by David Presley
Starring Trishelle Cantannella, Ginny Weirick, Maitland McConnell, George Takei, Michael Pare

Synopsis
chicks with big boobs learn ninja things from their srtip club boss george takei who gets kidnapped by the mob. they then have to save him while simultaneously winning a stripping contest prize to give them enough money for brown tuition, dodging a "dark ninja" assassin named kenji, and cheerleading for their junior college.

MOster
This is another movie of which we caught a few minutes on cable and decided to add it to the queue.  It was probably before the commencement of this blog.

In two separate incidents I saw two different scenes.  The first was some kind of training thing with Takei talking to the girls; the second was the cheerleading coach (yes, they actually do cheers in the movie) taking crap from his friends for coaching cheer rather than basketball or something.  They were both pretty awful, but they had the inkling of "awe" in the awful that is sometimes too easy to spot.

This movie missed my expectations by just a little bit.  A detailed discussion of it will earn me more crap from el Woman.  Plus, I'm at work so I can't give it as much time as I might like to anyway.  With that said, the plot actually made sense and wasn't entirely linear.  The production and the acting were pretty darn poor, and there wasn't enough self-awareness to make it that kind of fun to watch.  And the little jump cuts to bare breasts were actually annoying in that they had zero connection to anything else.  It was almost as if someone thought, "Gee. People are going to see that poster and think this is a T&A movie.  We should give them a little T&A."

You don't have to watch this movie.  This movie will disappoint you.

The Woman
super lame. too lame and boring to be funny. nobody showed ant areola either. bad choice on our parts to watch it in it's entirety.