Y Tu Mama Tambien

Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001)


Writer: Alfonso Cuaron, Carlos Cuaron
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Starring: Diego Luna, Gael Garcia Bernal, Ana Lopez Mercado

Synopsis
This movie is a road picture, following a 30-ish separated women and the two buffoons who hoodwinked her into looking for some mysterious beach.

The Woman
meh. i guess this was good. i see why people like it. it could've been way worse. i guess rich little shit brats in their 20s are the same everywhere. growing up is hard. blah, blah, blah. i enjoyed the way the story was presented with the cuts in audio and the narration. i just feel like i've seen this before. the rich/poor gap was made painfully obvious. there was a large hammer on the bell in my brain. the rich are oblivious to the plight of the masses. i get it. especially in mexico. got it. my personal brush with mexican authority showed me all i will ever need to see, in all it's stereotypical truth.

MOster
This movie was in our house because of Cuaron, and you can't really dispute the at the level of direction is there.  From cramped settings in cars to the beautiful vistas of rural Mexico, everything is exactly where it will provide the maximum effect.  The direction of the film mirrors perfectly the elements of the story, giving us tension when called for, relaxation when necessary, and sultriness when available.  The intentionally-intrusive narration was almost always a welcome respite.

This is a story that could not have been told by American cinema, because it involves sex and feelings and how neither of those things respects gender.  There's always sexual tension between friends of the same gender; it just doesn't always have the opportunity (or requirement) for physical manifestation.  One day, people will write of the coming-of-age of American culture, too, but I won't be around to watch that movie.

I don't know why I have so little to say about this one, but c'est la vie.  I will say that I didn't really focus nearly as much on the rich/poor gap as I did on the way each of the characters had to grow up and get the fuck over themselves to move on, even if that forward motion ended in death.

4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days

4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days (2007)


Writer: Cristian Mingiu
Director: Cristian Mingiu
Starring: Anamaria Marinca, Laura Vasiliu

Synopsis
a chick does all the dirty work in getting her friend an illegal abortion in romania in 1987(?) and when things go wrong she keeps her shit together.

MOster 
This film is delivered to us with high level of competence. It's quite good, but isn't something that inspires "like" as a reaction.  Claustrophobic shots of natural performances are perfect for the material; and the it's almost depressing that the locations for some of the exterior settings are so readily available.  The lens of the story quite wisely keeps the politics behind everything else, informing the proceedings but never dominating the story.  Ancillary scenes of joy come our way through glimpses of other characters simply leading their lives and dealing with the necessary crap.  No ball-peen hammers were harmed in the imparting of this tale.

Following the story of the best friend rather than the inseminatee is a smart approach, because it gives us a vantage point from which we can see the world of the story much more clearly.  Through the eyes of the friend, haggling over the price of a room allows us to see the frustration of the desk clerk as well.  Through the eyes of the friend, haggling over the price of the actual procedure is more sinister, because the payment is made out of loyalty rather than desperation; and that loyalty is the core of the tale.

The Woman
ah, unplanned pregnancy. it wasn't as depressing as i thought it might be. of course, everything is a ray of sunshine compared to our recent viewing of "dancer in the dark". i found myself to be anxious when i supposed to be so i guess that says something. like the whole scene at the boyfriend's mothers house. it seemed to drag on forever. but that was the point. i just kept waiting for the gory bloody scene that i thought was inevitably coming.

the fetus....i had a hard time not laughing, but i didn't want to trample on my poor, sensitive husband's sensibilities. i don't think feti, even at 6 months look like little babies. they look more like pigs with hands and feet.

i kind of wish i knew more of what was going on in romania in this time period, but since i'm a fucking american i have to research world history especially more contemporary world history for myself since it's not taught in school, or talked about ever. especially communist history! i'm off to research...

this was good. her friend is a huge unappreciative asshole. and that's all i have to say about that.

Just Go With It (2011)


Writer: Allan Loeb, Timothy Dowling, and 4 more people who wrote it for playhood and frenchness
Director: Dennis Dugan
Starring: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston

Synopsis
a guy pretends to be married to pick up chicks, but inevitably meets a girl 9 trillion years his junior who he thinks is his soulmate, but she is the one who is disgusted with herself for sleeping with a married man, so he makes his attractive, divorced with two kids, assistant pretend to be his newly exed wife. then the kids get involved then they all end up in hawaii together and THEN, in a shocking twist, it turns out that adam sandler loved jennifer aniston all along and vice versa!

The Woman
yeah. i had pretty much given up on adam sandler after the giant unfunny turd that was "grown ups" and yet i watched this unimaginative, predictable, unfunny piece of cinema. i wouldn't call it a turd since it wasn't as bad as "grown ups" but it was exactly on the same level as "couples retreat". adam sandler could have been vince vaughn and i wouldn't have noticed. so, i guess, there you go. if you find immense humour in movies like "couples retreat" then you will think this movie is gold.

this thing did not sway my negative feelings toward adam sandler movies either. i have enjoyed him in the distant past. i think it's a shame about the direction his career has gone.  i should have given up around the "mr.deeds" era, but i held out hope...actually, i take that back. he did a really good job in that one with don cheadle...where his family died in 9-11. that one showed some range.  but the comedies have been the same crummy jokes for the last 10 years. i want to say that i know he still has some funny left in him, but i'm seriously doubting that's true. it's an abusive relationship. he beats the crap out of me, but i go back for more. sigh. i think this time i'm really done though. the release of "jack and jill" was the nail in the coffin. my faith hast been destroyed.

A Little Help

A Little Help (2010)

Writer: Michael J. Weithorn
Director: Michael J. Weithorn
Starring: Jenn Fischer

Synopsis
after the death of her total ass of a husband, a woman struggles to get her act together. not because she doesn't have a husband anymore, but because she hasn't quite grasped adulthood yet.

The Woman
yeah, i liked this one. very dry dark humor. very relatable. i don't have too much to say about it. i guess because i liked it? yay.

Insidious

Insidious (2010)


Writer: Leigh Whannell
Director: James Wan
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne,and a hobo dressed as darth maul

Synopsis
crazy haunty-like things start happening when a couple's kid falls into in inexplicable coma.

The Woman
like most horror scary type movies this was way creepier when i had no idea what was going on. once the big bad mystery is revealed things usually take a turn for the hoaky, and in this case giggle inducing. seriously, i was laughing by the end. i didn't not like it because it did entertain me. it was over dramatic and eyebrow lifting but kind of in a good way. such ridiculous elements like the gas mask seance, and the vaudevillian "the further" are good examples of it's silliness.  it came off as a throw back of those seventies terrible horror movies like "burnt offerings" especially with the huge title card and the string cacophony. the ending was really kind of lame and predictable, but it is a contemporary horror movie after all so i shall deduct a minimal amount of points.

plus the hobo in the darth maul costume dancing to some tiny tim was priceless. and, like the kid's coma, i have an inexplicable soft spot for patrick wilson.

William Shatner's Gonzo Ballet

William Shatner's Gonzo Ballet (2009)
Directed by Patrick Buckley, Bobby Ciraldo, Kevin Layne, Andrew Swant
Written by (? - this is a documentary) Margot Stappington

Synopsis
This is a documentary about a ballet inspired by William Shatner's spoken and sung works.  It does not include any shots of him dancing because those would be interesting.  It was, however, an official selection of numerous backwoods "international film festivals."


MOster
This was crappy all around.  I'm writing before Leila does her synopsis [she later decided to not even bother with this], so I don't know if there will be some repetition here but this documentary was essentially a shitty vanity project about a rich woman's shitty vanity project.  William Shatner wasn't anywhere close to being the star.

This movie is the story of one woman's quest to set dancing around William Shatner's music and spoken word stuff.  It's a thoroughly boring story, about convincing some second-rate Midwest ballet company to take on the project and how, essentially, Shatner and Ben Folds were all too happy to oblige.  OK, lady. That's great.  Now, show us the dancing.  OK, now stop showing us the dancing. It doesn't match the audio at all.

Just, go away.

Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

The Chronicles of Narnia: Something Having to do with a Sea Voyage (2010)

Writer: Christopher Marcus, Stephen McFeely (pants), Michael Petroni (all screenplay) and, of course, C.S. Lewis
Director: Michael Apted
Starring:Georgie Henley, Skandar Keynes, Will Poulter, Ben Barnes

Synopsis
those zany british kids are back in narnia. this time they are on a ship, and accompanied by their cousin who is the embodiment of science and reason, but it's ok because he finds jesus, i mean, aslan.

The Woman
are they done with these? this one was just as boring as the first one. here we are sailing to this place unexcitedly. now, we're going to this place unadventurously. and so on and so forth until they defeat the green fog and aslan tells them they are grown up and that he is known as jesus in their land and they should find him. jesus. jesus. jesus. god. jesus. je-sus.

i kind of felt like the second one wasn't as bad as the first, but this one was pretty bad. liam neeson was phoning this performance in from a remote destination where the best he could get was that one tiny little bar and even that was cutting in and out. i would like to clarify the reason i put this on is because i needed my sick kid to plant his butt on the couch for more than 30 seconds and the choices were this or the owl guardians of ga-hoole or whatever it's called, of which i have been warned is pretty bad. i wish i picked that one.

these movies make me question my love for the PBS miniseries of "the lion, the witch and the wardrobe" that i had in my youth.

The Kid
"i'm done watching this movie"